“The Democratic Convention is $27 million in debt. They had to cancel the kick-off event at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. A speedway is the perfect place for the Democratic Convention. You go around in circles, turn left every few seconds, and you end up right where you started. ” –Jay Leno
“This week Vice President Joe Biden spoke at a senior center in Iowa. Which explains why the seniors were like, ‘Is this Hell?’” –Jimmy Fallon
