BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL - Asked by Rachel Maddow if he was surprised by the hospitality of the sheep while he was vacationing in Montana this summer, the Vice-President responded with a sheepish smile:
"Hell no. The sum-bitches kicked out two brand new pairs of Eddie Bauer hip boots on me while we were romping around in the barn. I knew they were happy though, cuz they were grinning from ear to ear."
"How did you know they were grinning?" asked the turtle-necked, MSNBC token lesbo, with her patented perpetual come-hither look sequestered over her horn-rimmed glasses which are perilously balanced on the tip of her flared nostrils.
"Used what they call a Montana pole," replied the bemused gentleman who is but one heart-beat away from the presidency. "While I got their back legs trapped in my Eddie Bauers, I put this pole with a mirror attached in front of their head to see if they're smiling."
"Good luck in your debate with Paul Ryan tomorrow."
"No worries, matey. Ryan is toast."