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490 days ago
Are his slippers different colors? Nice touch from the artist! lol!
490 days ago
There is an old man in a nursing home.
A lady comes up to him and says "Hey Harry would you like to go out this weekend? If you say yes I will touch your penis!"
"Naw," said Harry, "I have a date with Martha this weekend."
"Well", said the woman, "will Martha touch your penis just for a date?"
"She sure will", he said.
Well what does Martha have that I don't have?
"Parkinsons", said Harry.
I don't care who you are... That's funny! lol!
490 days ago
Ha ha ha ha!
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each
other for a long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation
regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of
their physical relationship.
“How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather tentatively.
“I would like it infrequently,” she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned
over towards her and whispered – “Is that one word or two?”
LOL! I hate when that happens!
Ageing Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast.
"Later that night........
Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
LOL! I saw that one coming!
My dearest wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your
54-year-old body can no longer supply. However, I am very happy with
you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this
letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will
be spending the evening with my 18-year old secretary at the Comfort Inn
Please don't be perturbed, I shall be back home before midnight.
When the husband came home, he found a letter on the dining Room table:
My dearest husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty. I would like to
take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At
the same time, I would like to inform you that while you are reading
this, I will be at the Ritz Carleton with Michael, my tennis coach, who,
like your secretary, also is 18. As a successful businessman and with
your excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in
the same situation, although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot
more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be back until lunchtime tomorrow !
Ahhhh...that was a good one!
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