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Bringing 'Sexy' Back...


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Growing older scares me!
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Written by Fender Stratocaster (#10)
287 days ago
Are his slippers different colors? Nice touch from the artist! lol!
- 2 +



Written by Pernicious (#1)
287 days ago
There is an old man in a nursing home.

A lady comes up to him and says "Hey Harry would you like to go out this weekend? If you say yes I will touch your penis!"

"Naw," said Harry, "I have a date with Martha this weekend."

"Well", said the woman, "will Martha touch your penis just for a date?"

"She sure will", he said.

Well what does Martha have that I don't have?

"Parkinsons", said Harry.
- 3 +



Written by Fender Stratocaster (#10)
287 days ago
I don't care who you are... That's funny! lol!
- 3 +



Written by Mortis (#2)
287 days ago
Ha ha ha ha!
- 0 +



Written by Pernicious (#1)
287 days ago
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each

other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation

regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of

their physical relationship.

“How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather tentatively.

“I would like it infrequently,” she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned

over towards her and whispered – “Is that one word or two?”
- 1 +



Written by Fender Stratocaster (#10)
287 days ago
LOL! I hate when that happens!
- 2 +



Written by Pernicious (#1)
287 days ago
Ageing Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast.

"Later that night........

Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
- 2 +



Written by Fender Stratocaster (#10)
287 days ago
LOL! I saw that one coming!
- 2 +



Written by Pernicious (#1)
287 days ago
My dearest wife,



You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your

54-year-old body can no longer supply. However, I am very happy with

you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this

letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will

be spending the evening with my 18-year old secretary at the Comfort Inn

Hotel.

Please don't be perturbed, I shall be back home before midnight.

When the husband came home, he found a letter on the dining Room table:

My dearest husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty. I would like to

take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At

the same time, I would like to inform you that while you are reading

this, I will be at the Ritz Carleton with Michael, my tennis coach, who,

like your secretary, also is 18. As a successful businessman and with

your excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in

the same situation, although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot

more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be back until lunchtime tomorrow !
- 2 +



Written by Mortis (#2)
287 days ago
Ahhhh...that was a good one!
- 1 +





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