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749 days ago
The Mega Millions jackpot has grown to $540 million, and people across America are dying to score the lucky ticket. According to lottery officials, the odds of winning the massive prize are about 1 in 176 million. Despite the excitement, those odds are not good. In fact, there are many other things—good and bad—that are much more likely to happen to a person than winning that money. From landing dream jobs to unfortunate demises, The Daily Beast lists much more likely occurrences.
Death by Vending Machine
Odds: 1 in 112 million
On average, two people in the U.S. are crushed to death underneath vending machines each year. Please snack responsibly.
Dying in an Airline-Related Terrorist Attack
Odds: 1 in 25 million
No one has died in an airplane-related terrorist attack since 9/11. The pat-downs of elderly people and toddlers are really paying off.
Having Identical Quadruplets
Odds: 1 in 15 million
Identical quadruplets would be adorable, but you wouldn’t be able to support them because you probably won’t win the lottery…
Odds: 1 in 10 million
Mitt Romney has seen these odds and he likes them.
Mega Millions Lottery
Dying From Bee, Hornet, or Wasp Stings
Odds: 1 in 6.1 million
Who knew bees were so scary? Then again, bees may not be as much of an issue this year.
Dying From Being Left-Handed
Odds: 1 in 4.4 million
It’s a right-handed world. Apparently, a fair number of left-handed people die each year from using right-handed products incorrectly.
Becoming a Movie Star
Odds: 1 in 1,505,000
There’s more than one way to make money in this world, and movie stardom is a better bet than playing the lottery.
Dying in a Plane Crash
Odds: 1 in 1 million
If you are too scared to board a plane, why did you just buy a lottery ticket?
Death by Flesh-Eating Bacteria
Odds: 1 in 1 million
Not as rare as one would hope, but there are worse ways to die. Maybe.
Getting Struck by Lightning
Odds: 1 in 1 million.
A lightning strike is probably still preferable to flesh-eating bacteria.
Dying in a Bathtub
Odds: 1 in 840,000
These odds are not an excuse to stop bathing.
Dying in an On-the-Job Accident
Odds: 1 in 48,000
If this applies to you, you may want to take a risk and buy that lottery ticket.
Odds: 1 in 18,000
Hopefully it won’t be over a lottery ticket, but if it is, at least your murderer probably won’t win either!
Dying in an Asteroid Apocalypse
Odds: 1 in 12,500
The good news is that this will probably never happen. That is, until the year 2040, when it’s totally going to happen!
Dying in a Car Accident
Odds: 1 in 6,700
Good luck driving to the store to buy that lottery ticket.
749 days ago
"The pat-downs of elderly people and toddlers are really paying off." Laugh OUT LOUD funny.
Damn D, that was one of the best reads of the week, maybe month! Thanks!!
748 days ago
I keep my ass indoors during lightning storms. To many metal bars along long bones in me, so that 1 in a 1,000,000,000 is covered.
As 727 lurches and the engines change pitch, the worried passenger sitting next to the stoic looking Army Officer in duty uniform, looks over and asks him in a worried tone. "Do you think that the plane is okay?" The Officer leans over and responds "Yeah, the engines will hold up almost all the way to the crash site."
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