http://www.politicollision.com Working to Restore the Constitutional Republic Sat, 15 Jun 2013 19:24:14 EDT en http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=daiquiri-joke-of-the-day





"It's a hickory daiquiri, doc." ]]> Sat, 15 Jun 2013 19:24:14 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 13 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=daiquiri-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=hilarious-video-louisiana-mayor-%E2%80%9Chas-had-enough-of-these-acquisitions%E2%80%9D- Port Allen Mayor Deedy Slaughter has “had enough of these acquisitions” she claims. After facing a public recall, she appeared in public to claim, “I been witch hunt since day one. I been fighting acquisitions after acquisitions.”

The accusations against her are:

•Hiring her brother-in-law, Ralph Slaughter, for a nonpaid chief of staff position.
•Litigation over her alleged wrongful termination of the city’s chief financial officer, Audrey McCain.
•A running debate over whether she should have boosted her own salary by $20,000 a year to $84,960 annually.
•Asking taxpayers to cover the cost of her $2,500 trip to Washington, D.C., to attend President Barack Obama’s inauguration.
I’m certain taxpayers meant to simply fire her after a formal inquisition, but perhaps she was too confused by the grammar used to be able to address the concerns over her corruption."

]]> Sat, 15 Jun 2013 05:36:51 EDT Mortis Humor 13 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=hilarious-video-louisiana-mayor-%E2%80%9Chas-had-enough-of-these-acquisitions%E2%80%9D- http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=doggon-it-joke-of-the-day










They both have collar ID. ]]> Fri, 14 Jun 2013 18:50:21 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 13 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=doggon-it-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=voices-joke-of-the-day
"They're complimentary." ]]> Fri, 14 Jun 2013 00:17:12 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 13 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=voices-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=arabic-for-dummies Tue, 11 Jun 2013 03:09:59 EDT psygremlin Humor 12 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=arabic-for-dummies http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=woman-drinks-people%E2%80%99s-blood-%E2%80%93-sometimes-guzzling-nearly-two-litres-a-month
She meets fellow vampire enthusiasts at a local occult and oddities store where she cuts them with a pagan-style knife before lapping up their blood.

She believes it keeps her young and vigorous, just like the ageless bloodsuckers from movies such as Twilight.

The blood-thirsty care worker claims there is a huge sub-culture of blood drinkers across the world. ]]> Mon, 10 Jun 2013 19:44:51 EDT Fender Stratocaster Humor 15 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=woman-drinks-people%E2%80%99s-blood-%E2%80%93-sometimes-guzzling-nearly-two-litres-a-month http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=hey-baby-what-you-wearing Mon, 10 Jun 2013 06:37:33 EDT Mortis Humor 15 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=hey-baby-what-you-wearing http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=sunday-funnies-flopping-aces-46 Sun, 09 Jun 2013 19:36:36 EDT gbudavid Humor 16 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=sunday-funnies-flopping-aces-46 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=pecans-joke-of-the-day
'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me...'

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...

They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him. ]]> Sun, 09 Jun 2013 18:03:47 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 15 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=pecans-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=olympics-joke-of-the-day
He asks - Are you a pole vaulter?

The guy replies - No I'm German, and my name is Hans. ]]> Sat, 08 Jun 2013 19:20:40 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 11 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=olympics-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=the-monastery-joke-of-the-day
One day a man with no arms showed up at a monastery, asking if there was any work. The monk thought for a while and asked if he could ring the bell in the tower by running into it with his head. The man with no arms thought he could manage that and started his new career.

For several days, the man happily rang the bell. Then one day he slipped, missed the bell, and fell off the tower, plunging to his death. The local constable showed up and asked the monk if he knew the man. The monk said "No, but his face rings a bell."

Part 2:

Same monastery, a few months later. A second man with no arms shows up and says he heard the monastery had a job for a guy with no arms. The monk explained and the man took the job. He also happily rang the bell for a few days before slipping and plunging to his death. The constable showed up and asked if the monk knew the man. The monk said "No, but he's a dead ringer for the last guy."
]]> Fri, 07 Jun 2013 23:47:27 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 12 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=the-monastery-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=paws-joke-of-the-day
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.......... and coke." The bartender asks, "What's with the big pause?"

The bear responds, "I dunno... I've always had them." ]]> Fri, 07 Jun 2013 01:52:20 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 13 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=paws-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=what-was-that-joke-of-the-day ]]> Thu, 06 Jun 2013 01:47:52 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 11 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=what-was-that-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=speak-slowly These two guys meet after not having seen each other
for many many years. The first guy asks the second guy,
"How have things been going?" The second guy speaking
very slowly tells the first guy,

"I w..a..s.. a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d."

The first guy says in amazement, "Hey, you don't stutter
any more." The answer comes,

" Y..e..s, I w..e..n..t t..o a d..o..c..t..o..r..
a..n..d h..e t..o..l..d m..e t..h..a..t i..f
I s..p..e..a..k.. s..l..o..w..l..y I w..i..l..l
n..o..t s..t..u..t..t..e..r."

The first friend congratulates him and then asks again
about how he was almost married.

"W..e..l..l m..y f..i..a..n..c..e..e a..n..d
I w..e..r..e s..i...t..t..i..n..g.. o..n h..e..r
p..o...r..c..h a..n..d t..h..e d..o..g w..a..s
s..c..r..a..t..c..h..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..c..k
a..n..d I t..o..l..d h..e..r t..h..a..t w..h..e..n
w..e a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d s..h..e c..a..n
d..o t..h..a..t f..o..r m..e a..n..d s..h..e
t..h..r..e..w t..h..e r..i..n..g i..n m..y
f..a..c..e.."

"Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?"
asks the first friend. " W..e..l..l I s..p..e..a..k
s..o s..l..o..w..l..y, t..h..a..t b..y t..h..e
t..i..m..e s..h..e l..o..o..k..e..d.. a..t
t..h..e d..o..g, h..e w..a..s l..i..c..k..i..n..g
h..i..s b..a..l..l..s"
]]> Wed, 05 Jun 2013 04:46:31 EDT Pernicious Humor 11 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=speak-slowly http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=blind-dinosaur-joke-of-the-day
Doyouthinkhesarus? ]]> Tue, 04 Jun 2013 02:37:14 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 12 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=blind-dinosaur-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=the-drunk-driver
"What Arrows," replied the drunk. "I didn't even see the Indians!" ]]> Mon, 03 Jun 2013 20:19:01 EDT Pernicious Humor 13 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=the-drunk-driver http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=dealing-joke-of-the-day

He was selling “quack” ]]> Sun, 02 Jun 2013 20:00:26 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 14 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=dealing-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=the-overcrowded-church-
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.

The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"

Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.

After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.

The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."
]]> Sun, 02 Jun 2013 18:56:55 EDT Pernicious Humor 12 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=the-overcrowded-church- http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=trade-joke-of-the-day
"Mmm, good trade".
]]> Sat, 01 Jun 2013 18:51:40 EDT dtwentytwenty Humor 10 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=trade-joke-of-the-day http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=obama-edges-out-kim-jong-un-for-best-living-narcissist-at-2013-billboard-music-awards-
"I want to thank you for your love of oppressive government," Obama said in his acceptance speech. "I want to thank you for your love of intrusive surveillance. And I want to thank you for your love of paying taxes. I couldn't have done this without each and every one of you, but, mostly, I couldn't have done it without myself."

Mr. Obama spoke fondly of the many people his Administration has currently destroyed, and he closed his time at the podium with a promise of 'you ain't seen nothin' yet.'

"I'm already hard at work laying the foundation for what will inevitably become my third and fourth best-selling biographies," he assured the audience. "HBO has promised to air several long-running serials that will explore each and every facet of my life before and after my rise to prominence. Grade schools will rework the entire curriculum to revolve around each and every thing I've ever said. Just when you think you've had enough of me, you'll be pleased to know that there's more. There's so much more." ]]> Sat, 01 Jun 2013 16:53:10 EDT Pernicious Humor 10 http://www.politicollision.com/story.php?title=obama-edges-out-kim-jong-un-for-best-living-narcissist-at-2013-billboard-music-awards-