Working to Restore the Constitutional Republic
Working to Restore the Constitutional Republic
Published News » Odd Stuff
Stripped of the bras that decorated the tavern's ceiling for nearly half a century, the Holler House looked mighty naked.
But on Thursday, justice was restored to the universe. A ridiculous city order to ban the bras as a fire hazard was rescinded.
"Oh my goodness, we won," cried Marcy Skowronski, the always colorful 87-year-old owner of the south side bar. "We're going to have a party to throw the bras back up."
I'll let Skowronski explain what happened when a city inspector stopped in recently.
"We've had bras hanging here for 45 years. It's been a charm of the place. So here comes this gal, and she's walking in here like Lady Astor's pet horse, you know, and she says she wants those bras down because they're a fire hazard. Now how can a bra be a fire hazard unless someone is wearing it? Honest to God."
Actually, I don't know about Lady Astor or whether she had a horse, but I do believe that bras rarely ignite, either when worn or if repurposed as tavern art. Ald. Bob Donovan, who jumped in on Skowronski's side, said, "I'm no expert, but aren't bras flame resistant anyway? I know some of them are awfully hot."
You get a sense of the bawdy but beloved tradition at the Holler House. Female customers, particularly first-timers, are encouraged to remove, autograph and leave their bras behind because, well, just because. Typically, they modestly wriggle out of them right there on a bar stool, or they retire to the ladies room.
It's a practice that Skowronski herself began one crazy night in the 1960s.
"We all got bombed, all these girls. And we just decided to take our bras off and hang them up," she said.
Whenever someone asks me where I’m from, I proudly say “Austin”—the land of live music, beautiful parks, active, healthy people, art, theater, and open-mindedness. It is the little blue dot in a red state. But the further I get from home, the more specific I find I have to be. For example, a conversation had in the Bahamas a few years ago:
“Where are you from?”
“Oh. Like George Bush, right? Where’s your horse?”
So you see the problem. But Austin is not alone in this. Regular people all over the country are surrounded every day by gun-toting, cowboy boot-wearing, country bumpkins. You know the type—they’re the folks who you run into at Walmart at 1 a.m.; NASCAR is their religion; and high school was just something they did for a couple of years, like flared jeans or TiVo were for the rest of us.
Now, I don’t use this term negatively at all. In fact, thanks to Jeff Foxworthy with his hundreds of “you might be a redneck” jokes, the term has been adopted fondly, proudly, by these tobaccie-spittin’ folk. Jokes are not the only redneck litmus test, though. Turns out—and I want to get this right—yew mat just be a redneck if yew live in one of these cities:
Posted by gbudavid (#4) 8 days ago (http://www.csmonitor.com)
Ever imitated a language by speaking total gibberish?
Just remember that your terribly accented gibberish is part of the age old practice of faking languages. And Americans are not the only ones who do it.
Not a single word in Adriano Celentano’s song, “Prisencolinensinanciusol,” means anything.
It doesn’t make a lick of sense, but it sure does sound a lot like English. Released as a single on November 3, 1972, the song was designed to seem like American English. A satirical parody, it was written to highlight the fact that many Italian artists were singing American pop classics without knowing a single word of the language.
It's been a tough week for The Onion—it was hacked by the Syrian Electronic Army—but it really knocked this one home. Fart Scroll. Code to make your website fart.
The code is a simple enough. Just include "fartscroll.min.js" on your page, and then define how often (how many pixels of scrolling) you want the site to make a fart noise. Or, better, sneak onto your friend's Tumblr or Wordpress and slip the code into their themes without telling them.
Every year, more and more people in the United States are clambering aboard their beloved bicycles and blithely pedaling into a brighter, cleaner, healthier tomorrow. Or losing their balance, wiping out and maiming themselves. Either way, they’re getting exercise.
But back in 1948, a number of inspired amateur craftsmen — not content with riding mundane, conventional bicycles — took their enthusiasm to another, unlikely level and … well, let’s let LIFE tell it, in the words the magazine used in its December 27, 1948, issue:
Posted by psygremlin (#23) 10 days ago (http://www.thespoof.com)
Sources close to the president have confirmed what heretofore had been only a tantalizing rumor. But today a startled world learned that at the conclusion of his second term the President plans to move with the first family to Kenya and run for the highest office in that land.
The reasons offered for this unprecedented move are complex, but boil down to the fact that he cannot accomplish the goals he set for himself in a mere eight years. Barely less than one year into his second term, the president and his advisors now doubt that the fundamental transformation of America can be achieved in the time that remains to him.
This vision, never fully articulated, was said to include a new currency, tentatively named, Hope Dollars, which would be backed by an aggressive program of economic leveling of individual wealth through taxation.
Society would become classless, although everyone would move to what is now called the middle class, unlike what happened in the classless communist countries where everyone became a worker.
There were also some minor constitutional changes in Obama's restructuring plan. Texas, for example, was to be merged with California; Massachusetts would take over New Hampshire, and so forth.
The most radical departure was said to be the evolution of the armed forces into an unarmed national community cadre that would be set to cleaning up playgrounds and renovating housing.